I remember while growing up, in secondary school, a lot of people had diaries to record any and everything. Mostly, people would write both happy and sad moments, and some would even write down offenses done to them by others, so they would not forget. Such people, unknown to them, were paving the way for the spirit of unforgiveness to abide with them.
Unfortunately, some of such people brought such characters into their marriages. They hold on to every little offence done to them and use their anger on their spouses much later. Remember that love forgives and forgets every offence done. It does not keep records nor does it delight in revenge. It takes no pleasure in inflicting pain on the other party, just to make him or her feel that you have “the upper hand”.
Some great marriages have been wrecked by the keeping of grudges. Some have allowed a stranger into their homes because they kept their partners away through unforgiveness. Remember God said in His Word that He hates putting away [/divorce] (Malachi 2:16). However, when you allow grudges in your marriage, you are putting away your spouse, thereby disobeying God. Keeping grudges can be likened to a dividing wall, and it thickens as the days linger.
Therefore, communicating your differences early is your best bet to a peaceful union. You don’t need to show your disapproval immediately the offence is done, but every disagreement or misunderstanding must be cleared before it grows to become a grudge. You have just this earthly life to make your marriage work, so you must do all it takes to make it the best of experiences.
Pastor Faith Abiola Oyedepo is the wife of Bishop David Oyedepo, the founder of the Living Faith Church Worldwide a.k.a. Winners’ Chapel, and Senior Pastor of Faith Tabernacle, Canaanland, Ota, Nigeria.
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